Poetry

I like to write because it helps to let the negative emotions go. I apologize if the poetry was not to your liking, but honestly, I write for me, not for anyone else.

That's just a note I would like to make, although I will try to be a happier person, because really, being happy or sad depends on how much one is willing to work.

Some emotions naturally are felt when something happens, but when nothing is occurring, when I, for instance, am

just sitting on my bed alone with my thoughts, then I must work toward whatever emotion I want.

That's just how I view it--I doubt I made much sense... :/ Ah well.

Poem 2 For Today

A coward I shall be

Sympathizing 

But never helping

Writing

But never speaking

Dreaming 

But never believing 

Thinking

But never innovating 

Hating

But never changing

Wishing

But never doing

Criticizing 

But never leading

Breathing

But never living

A coward I shall be

Eternally 

Mi Hermana

I hate

I absolutely HATE

Watching someone I love

Hurt herself 

I cannot stand

Looking at the scars 

That cover her skin

Those scars

They tell more stories

Than her blood-stained lips

Ever could 

I shiver

Every time she holds the bottle

And takes another heavy swig

I cannot look

When she sits there in the dark

Smoke escaping her body

And a cigarette

Providing the only light in the room

I bite my lip

When I pick up

One of her bloody knives

And tell the younger kiddos

That it's jam

Or something

Anything but blood

When I take her knives 

And wash them

I feel better

When I look at the clean blades

When I see her skin covered

When her eyes light up

From a forced smile

I can breathe 

Because it's easier to watch her pretend

Than hold her when she falls apart.

Fair Week

Just this last week was the fair. To be honest, I was quite busy--I worked and hung around with friends quite a bit. In fact, I spent around 12ish hours at the fair each day--and I never grew tired of it. 

There was just so much to see and do and my friends made the whole experience enjoyable. I also got to have a couple deep conversations that I needed to have. It helped to vent because although the fair was really fun, my life in other areas was(is) going downhill pretty fast and I really needed a friend to talk to at that time.

One of my favorite things there were the horses. The big Belgian horses are sleek and strong, and watching them work as a team was a wonderful experience. Other than that, the people I met and interacted with were really great too.

Like I said, I've been struggling a lot lately. I ended a relationship I had with one of my closest friends and I also had to deal with health issues and family problems. But I think I'm finally pulling myself out of the pit I put myself in. 

And although I am sort of sad to say it, I don't regret any of the decisions I made last week.

I guess all I have to say is the choices I have made are behind me and it's time to move forward and focus on new opportunities.

Alrighty, picture time!

Chalk Drawings

Welp, awhile ago I decided to try chalk again (I used to draw a lot with it but I kind of stopped)

Anyways, I made two drawings:

This is my dog picture. I don't have any browns so I had to mix a lot of yellow, red, orange, and grey to get a darker fur color. I eventually gave up on the brown fur idea and this is the result.

I drew my favorite flower: the morning glory. Once again, the trickiest part was just trying to get a brown(ish) color for the wood post. I triedddddd *cries* 

I wrote down this little song as well. And then I edited the picture and made it dramatic:

This is one of my favorite songs and although my dramatic image aint the best, I like it because the end of the song/poem stands out the most: "So please don't take my sunshine away." And to me, that's most important of the whole thing.

I should draw more (I would get better if I practiced) but it's hard to find the motivation, so that's all the chalk drawings I have done for now. :/