I don't even know

Can we talk about this picture for a moment?

I mean, how is this not the best picture in the history of pictures?

We have this oblivious hunter looking around for some deer to shoot thinking, "I'm invisible with this camouflage, and to top it off, I have this great hiding place! Now I just need some deer! Where's all the deer?"

And then we have this deer. This deer that is clinging to the trunk of a tree for deer life (ignore the pun), intently staring at the hunter like, "Let's talk about great hiding places..." All the while deviously scheming to drop it's five thousand pound body on the hunter.

Since I already think deer aren't as innocent as they look, of course I'm going to describe this picture as simply as, "The hunter becomes the hunted."

Gosh, I just love this picture.

Hehe

So, I am going to go on a trip to San Antonio with my church this weekend. And my mother is out shopping for things I might need. Every now and then she'll text me things like, "Do you want fruit cups?" "What kind of headphones would you like?" "What kind of cereal do you want me to buy?" And more things like that.

And after awhile the questions started getting kind of repetitive and not very fun to answer (if you know what I mean) until I thought, hey, maybe I could use this to my advantage.

I am a horrible daughter.

But let's be honest here, who hasn't tried something along those lines? Even though this small thought doesn't relieve my conscious at all really, it is still comforting to know that I'm not the only madly greedy person in the world. (And I think three words that end in "y" is too much to have  in a sentence when they're right next to each other--am I right?)

Anyways. What I've been slowly getting at is, we might get a movie to watch now!

*covers face, ashamed* I know, I know. But a movie. It's worth the shame, I think.

Semis

I am sorry for all of you who have a weird desire to be semi-truck drivers someday if I offend you with this post.

Because I hate semi-trucks with a burning passion. I am never the driver, but, still whenever we have to pass a semi on the highway, I hold my breath.

See, here's an interesting story that might explain some of the uncontrollable fear I have for these vehicles. Years ago, my cousin and her mother were driving on the highway, passing a semi-truck, when, the truck driver, oblivious to their existence, decided to switch lanes. And when he did this, he crushed my aunt's car, and injured both my cousin and my aunt.

DO YOU KNOW HOW SCARY THAT IS? Those figgin trucks are huge. 

Anyways, my slogan concerning semis is as follows:

"It's time to go off the roads and onto the rails!"

Yes, that's right: GO TRAINS.

Punny Pun Puns

As much as I love puns, I try and avoid pun wars because of reasons.

Reasons:

(1) I am horrible at making puns

(2) Those who are in a pun war with me are usually really good and creative with puns

(3) Pun wars with me never end well.

Let me just explain. When I say I am bad at making puns, I do not mean to say, "Oh I make all these silly, pathetic puns." No, I mean to say, "I can come up with one pun that I found on the Internet and then I'm just done."

So there's a big problem already.

Secondly, the people I'm warring with can honestly go all day with puns. It's like...I don't even know. They get a topic and then they're off. Whereas, I'm handed a topic and I'm like "That's punny...?" 

And lastly, because of reason two and one combined, these pun wars usually end with me screaming "I surrender!" whilst simultaneously banging my head against some hard object and sobbing very loudly.

Unfortunately, because I have horrible friends, pun wars are not something I can avoid easily. In fact, I think all my reasons of why not to engage in a pun war with me just encourages them further.

It is a very sad situation indeed.

I forgot I really don't have to try and censor myself...

Because my phone does all the censoring I need for me...

Painful Memories

So, when I was an innocent Junior High kid, my friend and I used to have code names for the boys we liked so we could talk about these particular guys at the lunch table without everyone else catching on. Well, anyways, a while ago, I had this big moment of realization, and I told this friend of mine how unintentionally perverted we sounded because of our code names. I am still dying on the inside (figuratively of course).

A Poor Acrostic Poem

Hey

You

Please

Officially

Confess

Right now

In here

To not being

Exactly perfect

My Profanity Solution

Ever since watching the movie Johnny Dangerously (Specifically, this is the guy from the movie behind my personal inspiration: Roman Moroni. I mean, just look at how naturally he avoids the actual swear words: "I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves"), I have repeatedly thought of "censoring" my choice words. Of course, I'm not going to do it the Roman Moroni way, for I have recently devised my own system.

*winces* It involves fruit--don't judge.

Some examples:

-"You seed of a banana!"

-"Don't be a worm in the apple!"

-"Stop being a figgin blueberry!"

I...yeah.

Video Games

I must admit, I'm no big gamer. The few video games I do obsess about include: 

-Spyro

-Champions of Norrath

Yes, that about covers it. And, mind you, these are PS2 games. Look how behind I am on technology. (Okay, okay, I admit it, I do indulge in a couple of Wii games every now and then too.)

Anyways, I guess I just want to start a one person conversation on why I like these games. (I'm not sure if I can use that phrase [one person conversation] without being arrested because I suppose "conversation" implicates more than one person but whateves)

Okay, okay, I'm sorry, all these little side notes are throwing me off track. Let's get back to the "moral of the story" here. (*cries* I'm sorry, it's late here and I'm tired)

Ahem. Moral of the story:

Spyro is an amazing video game mostly because it's a purple dragon that fights by not only breathing fire, but by ramming its horns into things. Also, you can make Spyro do a head-butt into the ground and may I ask how much more awesome can you get than that?

Champions of Norrath... *sighs dreamily* Now that is a special kind of game. There is no other game that I have played where you can kill off your own characters by making them stand in a bonfire of sorts. Seriously--best entertainment ever. It's like, why roast marshmallows when you can roast people without the government hassling you for murder? I know the goal of the game is to cleanse the world of bad things, but you know what, I was always taught to make my own goals. And the goal I have made for myself concerning that game is simple: how fast can I kill off my character by making it stand in one of the numerous bonfires?

It's like a little game. You take off some of the armor, or you lure your enemies into the fire and try and fight them as you're consumed by flames...there's a never ending list of strategies at your disposal.

But hey, there's more.

If I'm playing multi-player with a family member, the goal changes slightly to: how many times can I kill myself using the little bonfires before severe profanity is unleashed?

So far, my record number is...*drum roll* one time. Yes, that's right, I can only kill myself one time using a bonfire before profanity ensues and my head is bashed by a controller.

"DAMMIT BELLE, NOW I HAVE TO GO ALL THE WAY BACK TO THE F***ING SAVE POINT BECAUSE YOU'RE A F***ING DUMBA**. YOU ALWAYS F***ING DO THIS TO ME"

And then, while this particular family member is screaming, I just sit there giggling uncontrollably thinking, "That time it was only seven seconds" as I try and get closer to both my goals at once.

Labels, Labels, Labels....

This is a late night rant, but I feel it is necessary--at the very least to let off some steam.

There are few things that set my temper on fire anymore--but those that do bother me, really bother me. One of these "triggers" (I should call them at least for right now) is the misuse, or overuse of labels. And for all the jokesters out there, no, I am not talking about soup can labels or the like; those are admittedly quite helpful. I'm talking about the hurtful labels individuals place on people they often know little about.

Some examples of these labels are: whore, slut, faggot, retard, racist, homophobic, gay (when it is used negatively) and etc.

Yes, certain people are racist, or homophobic, and believe it or not, there is a correct way to implement the word "retard" in daily speech/writing without being offensive. But I am talking about language that is used for the sole purpose of inflicting emotional/mental damage on someone.


To get on with this tangent, let me just show you what made me so angry. One of my "friends" on Facebook posted a status that stated the following: "Now I see why your relationship didn't work out, whore"

Obviously, the standout word here is "whore."

(A) A relationship never ends because of one person. Let me repeat that: It is not a single person's fault for why their relationship with someone else ended. There are numerous factors which play into the conclusion of a dating relationship (i.e. clashing personalities, feeling of neglect, abuse, issues with friends...). If two people are really "meant to be" they will conquer all problems--including one cheating on the other. (I mean, there's a reason why therapy exists) That's what a couple does, they tackle life's challenges together. Now, back to my earlier statement about people being meant to be...it's as simple as that, really. Sometimes people just aren't meant to be and/or they aren't willing to try and compromise or become a better person/couple. Love is a great and powerful thing, and when it is truly felt by both persons, then little can tear the two apart, as love implies forgiveness and great emotional attachment.

(B) It was not the girl's relationship to being with. It was the girl's and her partner's relationship. Simply put, it was their relationship. The pressure should never be on a single person to be good, to be perfect, to keep the relationship going. Things will go wrong, people will make mistakes. This is kind of like Point (A), but I feel it just needed to be stressed further.

(C) The whole "whore" part. I understand that cheating on someone with another person isn't right. But neither is childish name calling. In fact, this childish name calling needs to stop, because in my eyes, it is just another wrong. And as the famous saying goes "two wrongs don't make a right." SERIOUSLY THOUGH, what is being achieved by calling this girl a whore? Because I'm pretty sure nothing is.

And I'm not even going to go into the gender issues with that particular label. (As in, why guys are not labeled negatively nearly as much when they commit the same "crime" for lack of a better word)

Anyways, I think I'm done now. *sighs*

Lots and Lots of Links to Click

I was just on This AWESOME website/time waster and I decided there was some pretty cool things that I might as well share on my blog.

Cats

Hurricane Tips

This will make you cry

China

A Great Play on Words

More Cats

Diaries

Enjoy!

Just Aagh

Okay, this is a real question that I have.

Whenever someone does an activity that they were a little too cowardly to do before, they say something like, "I finally mustered the balls to go ahead and try this" or whatever

But I am a girl, and I don't have "balls"...so why do I partake in this overused phrase?

(That is not the question that I have actually though so don't try and answer it please and thank you)

Anyways, so since I am female, as I previously stated, should I (if I say anything at all) say "I finally mustered the boobs to go ahead and try this"?

I just feel like this makes more sense.

I understand having balls makes males more of men, but I am a proud female, and I don't want balls, nor do I need any. So, since having breasts makes a female more womanly (and I just want to say that being a woman is a heck of a tough and most of the time awesome occupation, so why wouldn't I want to insinuate something womanly?) wouldn't you say kind of what I suggested above?

Now that's my question. And I hope to get some answers.

The "Meh" Feeling

It's a hard feeling to describe, but perhaps I can do it.

So today was an okay day. And I say "okay" because I don't want to over exaggerate and go on a huge rant about how terrible everything went and so on, because things really did go okay.

But things weren't fantastic, or even good because, when you let down someone close to you, you can feel it. And unfortunately, that feeling doesn't just dissolve in five minutes or so.

In addition, what makes this feeling even worse is when you know you're the only person in the wrong, and the only solution to make yourself feel better, and the situation better, is to admit it.

And when you're a proud person, this is a difficult mission indeed.

When I say "you" and "you're" I mean "me" and "I am." Because the situation I just described is my situation.

However, I just want to declare that I avoid honestly telling of my mistakes to other people at all costs. I don't mean mistakes as in "I spelled that word wrong," I mean mistakes as in, I-just-fought-over-this-with-you-for-a-half-hour-and-I-just-realized-I-was-completely-wrong-and-my-whole-argument-was-bullshit mistakes.

So yes. Something along the lines of what I just described happened today, and I'm still debating with myself whether or not I should go up to these people I offended and say, "Man, I was stupid and definitely not right."

Of course, many of you guys will think, "HECK YES YOU SHOULD DO THAT WHY WOULDN'T YOU THAT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO"

But, this is what I'm thinking "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. I AM NEVER WRONG. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? OKAY I WAS WRONG A LITTLE BUT THEY KNOW THAT AND I KNOW THAT WHY DO I HAVE TO ADMIT IT TO THEIR FACE I DON'T WANT TO APOLOGIZE AND I DON'T WANT TO ACTUALLY SAY THAT I WAS WRONG BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE MIGHT ACTUALLY HEAR MY CONFESSION"

*sighs*

Looks like I'll just have to suck it up and hope those who are not very happy with me...have mercy.

Daily Odd Compliment to Make Up for Things

I am in love with Daily Odd Compliments and so I'm leaving one for you guys out there. And I just want you guys to know that I totally mean this with all the blood in my heart.

Oh man. I found another one I like. Looks like I'll just have to share this one too.

I Promise Not to Change My Fonts In One Post So Much Anymore

The title sums it up.

So Today is the First Day Which Equals The Day of Unlimited Posts

That is a really long title, and I sort of apologize for that.

(Can I really change the font? I don't know...)


So, anyways, I've been taught throughout most of my English Classes that if one wants an audience, one needs to catch people's attention. And how to do that?

Well, I've been thinking it over and I think this sentence oughta do it.

I've been to jail twice.

Okay, okay, I really haven't been to jail,

(OH MY GOLLY, I was just re-reading through this post, and that's actually a lie. I have been to jail...twice. I cannot believe myself for being so unconsciously accurate. But, it really isn't an exciting story, I only went to jail to go and sing Christmas Carols to the people who were, you know, really in prison...)

 but I think if someone read that, they would undoubtedly be kind of curious. And that's what I need right now, I need people to be curious. So I'm going to try and stop ranting about how desperate I am for people to read my blog and just, like, make a good first sentence...Of the next paragraph...Yeah.

I have an obsession with books, and reading them, and collecting them, and I would just marry books if I could.

We are trying this again.

I hear voices in my head sometimes. And that's not really all that strange. At least that's what they tell me. 

We (the voices and I) are just going to stop trying this...for now.

'Ello There (If Anyone's There That Is)

(I'm just going to be redundant and say 'hello' again so: Hello!)

Well, this is quite obviously a new blog, and it's something I'm trying out. I don't know how well it will go, so please be patient and forgive me for my many mistakes along this journey.

*Whispers* By the way, this is a very random blog about many things, and the topics I babble about will switch from day to day. I might update hourly, weekly, monthly, or yearly. So yes, enjoy!

Okay, that was a very crummy introduction, and since I am not in the swing of things yet, I'm just going to start out with a story about myself.

Yes, a story, that is how we shall start today...

Well, when I was girl...

At the age of twelve, I was very ignorant about how wrestling matches went on...

I like apples.

One time I ate a whole bag of pears all by myself and this is how that happened:

I think Luke Skywalker is cute even though most people go for Han Solo.

I read Twilight before it was uncool. I am not a fan of Twilight though.

This is harder than I thought. *cries*

I'll just tell you about how I got so inspired to make a blog. Okay? Okay, glad we agree that's a good thing to talk about.

So, this morning I was doing nothing, something which is very typical of me. I was getting fairly bored with this activity, however, so I decided to go on It Just Gets Stranger (which is a great site and if you haven't already been there, GO THERE NOW--Seriously, guys--JUST CLICK THIS LINK AND GO: clickmeclickmeclickme) Annnnnyways, it is one of the best blogs in the history of blogs. Just kidding, scratch that, it is the best blog in the history of blogs, and as I was reading through all the posts, I was thinking, "This is so neat, and now I want to share my life's story with everyone," so that's how I came to be.

Yup...