My Profanity Solution

Ever since watching the movie Johnny Dangerously (Specifically, this is the guy from the movie behind my personal inspiration: Roman Moroni. I mean, just look at how naturally he avoids the actual swear words: "I would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel: You lousy cork-soakers. You have violated my farging rights. Dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes... like yourselves"), I have repeatedly thought of "censoring" my choice words. Of course, I'm not going to do it the Roman Moroni way, for I have recently devised my own system.

*winces* It involves fruit--don't judge.

Some examples:

-"You seed of a banana!"

-"Don't be a worm in the apple!"

-"Stop being a figgin blueberry!"

I...yeah.